it ain't easy being saucytart

If They Stole Her Identity, They'd Bring It Right Back

Saucytart loves it when she gets good information as well as good swag and grub.   It helps if all of the above are being doled out by alpha male eye candy.

Today she had the pleasure of learning how to protect herself and her goodies from identity theft.

Bill Stanton, NBC’s Today Show and Dateline Security Expert, who just happens to be hunk-a-rific as well as fun and informative  gave a  talk to bloggers and online media professionals today at the Hudson Hotel,  detailing the numerous ways the average blogger-mom like Saucytart can  lock down her identity tighter than Fort Knox.

Stanton is quite charismatic. He knows how to tell a story and how to sell a you on the need to secure your identity.  You may not be able to do anything about your deleterious past, but Forza Juve, you can keep your financials secure. 

Among the recommendations he had were firewalling computers and utilizing updated anti-virus utilities, backing up personal computer files, shredding all personal papers finer than chiffonaded basil as well as frequent inspections of your credit report.  All the kinds of things we think about in passing, but don't make habit.

Stanton also was pretty good at selling Staples security products (please, please, please let Saucytart have the lowest security risk analysis score so she can win the amazingly compact and cute cross-cut shredder). She also loved the Maxtor mini hard drive, 120 GB of external storage for under $100 and  nearly cried when she found out that wasn’t in her swag bag (Stanton wouldn’t fit either, though Saucytart tried – just kidding).

The very generous sponsors at Staples did provide her with a few decent story ideas that she plans to pitch hither and yon, along with Norton Anti-virus 2008, a Targus Defcon Combination Notebook Cable Lock, a ScanDisk 4GB Cruzer Titanium Plus USB 2.0 Flashdrive, and six months of Staples Identity Theft protection.

Saucytart always said anyone who stole her identity would give it right back and she's sticking to that story. However,  seeing is believing. Three people in the room of writers today were victims of identity theft, so you never know.

She would like to add that dearest Saucytart would not be true to her inner kitchen goddess, if she didn’t mention the arugula and fennel salad topped with artichoke hearts, sautéed mushroom and baby asparagus tips. She wanted a doggie bag for the other half of her curried chicken salad on cranberry wheat bread too.  Yum. And of course, she ate dessert – a mixed berry crumble with freshly whipped cream.

 A good time was had by all and Saucytart sleeps sounder tonight knowing her identity isn't out there on the loose and up for grabs.

 

Bury That Bone for Good

Saucytart would like to be less tenacious. Just this once and just in this instance. 

She would love to wake up in the morning to discover she had let go of this bone that she is just compelled to gnaw, bury, and then dig up to gnaw and bury once again.

In this case, she just can't let well enough alone.

It's been nearly two years since Saucytart offended the mother of Snudge's best friend.  Some people are too special.  They never err.  Saucytart is not one of them, but she has felt the wrath of the self-righteous mother. She's had plenty of time to  consider her role in the resulting punishment of the children who are no longer allowed to play with one another outside of school.  She's also had plenty of time to consider the role of the offended parents (because by this time, Saucytart has managed to offend the father too).

Will wonders never cease? Saucytart is the only guilty party. Right.

It's unfortunate that the children can no longer get together.  Snudge and his Little Best Friend spent many happy hours together at our house. They were both hurt by a bad case of egotism and narcissism.

One of life's unhappier lessons. 

Saucytart would like to get closure.  She just can't get it through her thick, thick skull that she was a cog in the wheel, that though she was charmed by someone else's child, no one really cared how she felt -- not one iota.  In fact, that the child was charmed by her as well made Saucytart somehow suspect to the mother.  It's sad to see a person so insecure as to feel threatened when their children feel affection for someone other than themselves. And then to punish a child to get at an adult. 

But all this is history, sad and too bad, but history.  Saucytart really could care less about having lost the society of the mother involved.  But she is truly, deeply and irrevocably saddened by the loss of the friendship with the father* and the child, whom she cherished.  She understands the father is compelled to loyalty to the mother by virtue of the child and his well-being.  Saucytart's no dummy.

But, she's still hurt that he wouldn't defend her even just a little.

Oh well. There's a saying for that: no good deed goes unpunished.

*Hey, Saucytart is no home wrecker. These two were long separated before Saucytart arrived on the scene.

Smarter Than Your Average Whale. Thinner Too.

Saucytart has been Shamu-ed.

She shamelessly admits the techniques used on animals to elicit particular behaviors have worked like a charm or three on hers truly.

In particular, Saucytart notes that being ignored works amazingly well with her.  When ignored she generally returns the favor.

Voila!  Everyone is happy.

Mind in the Clutter

Saucytart is still unpacking.  Her project is on hold since she will have new appliances delivered Sunday and therefore must rearrange the cube -- again.

Her new apartment is a bit like a Rubik's cube.  In order for the puzzle to be complete, every twist and every turn must be just so.  There simply isn't enough room for all her stuff and though the hallway-length shelving is grand, it's space-saving qualities are, nonetheless, finite.

Still, she's quite pleased with the way she's pulled the space together and by weekend's end, she's sure to have most of her major storage and decorative issues solved. The place is already feeling like home since she's got some of the art up on the walls and plumped all the pillows in her bedroom.

As soon as the scent of herb-roasted chicken is filling the kitchen, Saucytart will be settled.  Until then, she'll try to keep her mind out of the clutter.

Attention Span of a Flea

Usually Saucytart can certainly put the P in Pith, but not these days.

Her attention span is very ADD-like.  To that end she cannot concentrate on a thing.  This means she's not writing enough. Just poetry, she would say, as if poems are nothing but marshmallow fluff. 

She feels like she should be doing the serious work of getting paid for her writing.  And, yes, eating is good as is having a roof over one's head.

Poetry is not going to buy her a bag of beans.  Nor is blogging.  But the quick and dirty is where she's at right now.

Ugh. She hopes this passes soon.

Gadget is the New It Pussycat

Saucytart bought the beautiful Gadget a fabulous new beddy-bye to replace the disgustingly hairy sleeping bag. 

It's shaped like a scallop shell, a la Botticelli's Venus.  Every pretty pussycat needs a gorgeous lair and Miss Gadget is no exception. She is loving it and Saucytart is grateful to have made a stab at hair containment.

Saucytart would be happy to have her own bed back in working order after the move.  Brucie is coming to her rescue tomorrow.

Until then, sweet dreams my lovelies.

Long Time, No See.

There's a reason it's called Funder-wear! Saucytart finally found her lingerie and socks.

Praise the Lord and pass the cornbread.

She knows that you, gentle reader, knows which missing item was more important.  Not a huge fan of going Commando, though she can and does but much prefers to do so when she knows it will be appreciated, hehe.

At any rate, the rubble is shrinking and the new party pad is getting closer to being livable.  Saucytart may be back in circulation soon.  She hopes.

Saucytart is living in the lap of luxury now.

What with all the luscious heat and hot water, she feels absolutely fab.  She has a cute handyman drilling and sawing and what not -- not that what not, but, hey, who knows. 

It's heavenly. 

The only down side is the insane amount of clutter.  But one would be amazed at what wonders can be wrought with a little tinkering and tweaking. Saucytart should be unpacked and  hostessing shortly.

Yay!